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Delve into the Depths
Muse among the Madness
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fancy girl
”Cwm fjord bank glyphs vext quiz”: Amazingly, this 26-word-long sentence uses every letter only once, though it uses some pretty archaic words; translates to “Carved symbols in a mountain hollow on the bank of an inlet irritated an eccentric person.”
6th-Oct-2016 07:22 pm - return to computer
fleur de lis
finally got the client and login back.  making it easier to write entries when they come to me
gavin degraw - 1st verse of “not over you”
garbage “not your kind of people” and “beloved freak”?
tori amos “mother”
5th-Oct-2016 03:43 pm - almost a decade of scrobbles!!!
poison remix
got my last.fm back, link should be in my profile to the info page on there if you are interested in my music taste.

yay also have the app on my desktop back, they have a radio of scrobbled tracks, AND it connects and SYNCS with everything i've ever played on pandora and youtube (but in browser only unfortunately.  possibly could connect and sync with the android app but im charging my phone).

thinking about sending this link to my cousin meghan, and really my tumblr blog link will be more active as soon as i work in writing to my routines of self-care at home.
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looking at spring courses for a different campus. they're non-credit but i wouldn't mind continuing the therapeutic aspect of going to class, especially if i can public transit to it and it not affect my GPA worries, ease back into school, need to get to Cal State with a decent pre-reqs filled grades for the major.

NCPSY 11: Self-Awareness Through Improvisation

Prerequisites: None
Lecture 2.25 hours. (2001.00)
Course Typically Offered: F, SP

Especially for older adults, this course uses improvisation as a means of developing self-awareness, imagination, and creativity, thus enhancing the ability to interact socially. Classroom improvisation emphasizes thinking, listening, and reacting to others.

NCWRT 20: Life Story Writing

Prerequisites: None
Lecture 2.75 hours. (1507.00)
Course Typically Offered: TBA

This course is intended for novice writers and includes techniques for making writing interesting and readable. The course covers basic writing techniques, techniques for writing dialogue, and short story construction. Students write their own life stories.

bolded parts are useful

i'm slowly getting back to having my happy space desk rom thing. its like a dorm single but large and with cats.  thinking about raising the bed a bit for storage underneath of easy access to amps/keyboard/ect. for practice and student use.

why not trial run with my freinds' kids.  draygon loves grammar and the girls are into the musical instruments.  i can test run a curriculum of currentt songs and write it not for classical but pop.  like eric would do for metal.

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i want to start blogging again but new decade doing a different platform.  many lifetimes, much time without writing online. a good half decade of paper journals, some dreams even included!

the tumblr is explicitly going to be a record how how i percieve the world and analyze my observations, my validation and rationalizing of my experiences with neurotypicals.

I miss writing, i used to not have my brain overwhelmed with anxiety and feeling like i need a dozen post-its on the wall.  its not a bad idea, i'm going to get the weekly calander pad and cross off outline item II.-B.-4. calander in weekly form near desk for planning the week appointments, social time, bills due, therapy group, etc. then another pad for my to-do list between chores and projects. different energy expenditures organized by time and allow for editing.
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You’d relapse forever for my therapy
I’m like a drug to you
Or so you think, you see
Like half the lies you never told to me
Because you knew my truth
Would shatter sanity

No matter how you try to spin your shit
That was your 2nd chance
As if you were legit
When my reality she loves to scold
And you can never hold
Up to the cowardice

Your hands, they shake
My move to break
You out of these shells so fake
10th-Jun-2015 02:29 am - i feel like i'm doing life again
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the past few weeks it seems like each day has been long for the most part.  I guess it IS a shock to the system to get moving again on a routine after a few months of bein glost and starting to lose it a few months before that.  Finally seem to have gotten weight/food somewhat more balanced to at least 2 a day meals and usaully a snack and drinks.  this has helped with energy and i can sometimes sleep.  better than it being impossible all the time/then feeling useless for weeks on end.  money is working out fine and plans for loan/upgrades to house are started.  Car is getting work done tomorrow, and will be finished when roomate gets to the brakes probably this weekend.  then maybe i'll have evergy to do a few organizing projects around the house, but first deal with the VA to switch banks, and figure out which brake pads to purchase.  next up ASAP is getting travel arrangements made and planning for mom and dad's visit.  downtime = try to read more, The Tao of Pooh about just Being is a simple calm but i'm a bit critical of how it says that may be better than the other characters (eeyore! Rabbit! owl!)
23rd-May-2015 01:51 am - portishead playlist
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one not on the albums, but very good example. trip hop = minimal breathy vocal and slow bassline, harmony in voice w/o words, drums slow and more faded sounding than other tracks.

looking up the lyrics, I like alot of their first album, with themes of salvation and hope; reads very poetic and only a few words per line.  unabashedly possessed by an emotion you can hear the fragility in the recorded voice; she always sounds about to break but reigning it in as if she had control the whole time.  some songs are more vulnerble than others, all unapologetic and raw.

from the 2nd album, "humming"

No hesitation
Give me
All that you have

And it's been so long, that I can't explain
And it's been so wrong
Right now, so wrong

My thoughts are creeping
To late
The show has begun

And it's been so long, that I can't confess
And it's been so wrong
Right now, so wrong

Is it all as it seems
So unresolved, so unredeemed
If I remain, how will I know

And it's been so long, that I can't be sure
And it's been so wrong
Right now, so wrong
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